I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
