Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I wear drunk well.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
