You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
