I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You're like the curious george of whores
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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