Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
