Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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