If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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