just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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