Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
