It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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