her vagine was all disorganized.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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