after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
