This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Success! We fucked roommates!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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