haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
