She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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