He uses pillows to masturbate.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize