yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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