Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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