i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I touched a dick in church today
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
