Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
