I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
