So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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