Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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