what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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