Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
