am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
