I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
