Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
