the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
wow bdsm is so cute
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
