You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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