Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
