omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
