remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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