so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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