Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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