apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
