I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
