He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
