I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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