Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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