Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
