dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
