so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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