just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize