No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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