went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
