Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
