The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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