you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
