when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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