you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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