If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
