We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my shit smells like andre
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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