i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I am naked and annoyed.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
