hotel room ftw
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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