party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
