You don't have asthma, your pregnant
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
