the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
