i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
