Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
