WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
