I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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