Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
