the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
there's paper in my vomit.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
