Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
