Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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