At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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